Funny quotes about women and dating

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“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind.

If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother.5.

If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs.

“Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. Rowling, “Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date.1.

The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face. Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade. I stopped trusting ladies when my class 3 girlfriend left me for another boy all because he bought a sharpener wid a mirror. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a “broke” man who’s extremely good in bed. Witchcraft is when a 24 year old girl who cannot jog for 5 minutes expects a 40 year old man to last for 1 hour in bed. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst thing ever; because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become emotional. Women with beauty and no brains, it is your private parts will suffer the most. When one’s goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour’s soup gets suspicious. Its better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she didn’t drill. Even Satan wasn’t gay, he approached naked Eve instead of naked Adam. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real. If President Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country (Zimbabwe), he must come here so that I marry him first. South Africans will kick down a statue of a dead white man but won’t even attempt to slap a live one. We now have aeroplanes which can take them back quicker than the ships used by their ancestors. I am termed dictator because I have rejected this supremacist view and frustrated the neo-colonialists. Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end. A brave man is he who has a running stomach and still wants to flatulate. Journalist: Sir don’t you think 89 years would be a great time to retire as a President. My dear ladies, please don’t buy a selfie stick when your armpit itself needs a shaving stick.

Stop talking about inner beauty because men don’t walk around with X-rays to see inner beauty. Respect pregnant women because it’s not easy walking around with evidence that you’ve had sex. Some of the girls of today can’t even jog for 5 minutes but they expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2 hours? If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform. It is every man’s dream to remove a woman’s pant one day but NOT when it’s on a drying line. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newly wed wife but lately, there’s nothing as such any-longer because it’ll have already been given out as a Birthday gift, token of Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection, Examination marking schemes & for Lorry fares! Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow. We are living in a generation where people “in love” are free to touch each others’ private parts but cannot touch each others’ phones because they’re private.” 31. Blair and now Mr Brown’s sense of human rights precludes our people’s right to their God-given resources, which in their view must be controlled by their kith and kin.

Negotiate these well, and you might just find your soulmate.Here are the 10 best inspirational dating quotes from movies that are sure to lift the spirits of any single guy or gal. For the past few weeks there have been hilarious quotes doing rounds on social media alleged to be been said by the African oldest serving president Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe. either sex, however, may bring a little gift, its value to be determined by the bizarrness of the sexual request to be made later that evening. All I have to do is read the paper: I'm marrying Richard Gere, dating Daniel Day-Lewis, parading around with John F. - Stockard Channing Fidelity to the subject's thoug Any idiot would know women's needs are simple. O'Rourke What's nice about my dating life is that I don't have to leave my house.

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